From the American Association Of Retired People

 Questions and Answers from AARP Forum

Q:  Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women

      who are interested in them?

A:  Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q:  What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? 

A:  Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the

      basement.  When you're done, you will have a place to live.

Q:  Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible...

      Is that true? Where can it be  found?

A:  Yes. Matthew 14:92: 

      "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to  Egypt  ."

Q:  How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 

      year-old husband?

A:  Tell him you're pregnant.

Q:  How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

 A: Take off your glasses.

Q:  Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those

      wrinkles on my face?

A:  Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q:  Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?

A:  Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q:  Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short

      term memory storage?

A:  Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q:  As people age, do they sleep More soundly?

A:  Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q:  Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

A:  On their foreheads.

Q:  What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds

      when they enter antique stores?

A:  "Gosh, I remember these!"

SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, RIGHT?

An old guy goes to the Social Security office and fills out an application form. Too old to have a birth certificate he is asked to prove how old he is.

He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hairs on his chest and they accept this as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check and explains to her what happened.

"Well," she replied, "Get back down there, pull down your pants and see if you can get disability!"