by Heidi Grant Halvorson
If you aren't sure, you are far from
alone in your confusion. It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished
people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they succeed or
fail. The intuitive answer — that you are born predisposed to certain talents
and lacking in others — is really just one small piece of the puzzle. In fact,
decades of research on achievement suggests that successful people reach their
goals not simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they
do.
1. Get specific. When you set
yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible. "Lose 5 pounds"
is a better goal than "lose some weight," because it gives you a
clear idea of what success looks like. Knowing exactly what you want to achieve
keeps you motivated until you get there. Also, think about the specific actions
that need to be taken to reach your goal. Just promising you'll "eat
less" or "sleep more" is too vague — be clear and precise.
"I'll be in bed by 10pm on weeknights" leaves no room for doubt about
what you need to do, and whether or not you've actually done it.
2. Seize the moment to act on your
goals. Given how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling
at once, it's not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities to act on a
goal because we simply fail to notice them. Did you really have no time to work
out today? No chance at any point to return that phone call? Achieving your
goal means grabbing hold of these opportunities before they slip through your
fingers.
To seize the moment, decide when and
where you will take each action you want to take, in advance. Again, be as
specific as possible (e.g., "If it's Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, I'll
work out for 30 minutes before work.") Studies show that this kind of
planning will help your brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it
arises, increasing your chances of success by roughly 300%.
3. Know exactly how far you have left
to go. Achieving any goal also requires honest and regular monitoring of
your progress — if not by others, then by you yourself. If you don't know how
well you are doing, you can't adjust your behavior or your strategies
accordingly. Check your progress frequently — weekly, or even daily, depending
on the goal.
4. Be a realistic optimist. When you are
setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of positive thinking about how
likely you are to achieve it. Believing in your ability to succeed is
enormously helpful for creating and sustaining your motivation. But whatever
you do, don't underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal. Most
goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and persistence. Studies
show that thinking things will come to you easily and effortlessly leaves you
ill-prepared for the journey ahead, and significantly increases the odds of
failure.
5. Focus on getting better, rather than
being good. Believing you have the ability to reach your goals is important,
but so is believing you can get the ability. Many of us believe that our
intelligence, our personality, and our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no
matter what we do, we won't improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are
all about proving ourselves, rather than developing and acquiring new skills.
Fortunately, decades of research
suggest that the belief in fixed ability is completely wrong — abilities of all
kinds are profoundly malleable. Embracing the fact that you can change will
allow you to make better choices, and reach your fullest potential. People
whose goals are about getting better, rather than being good, take difficulty
in stride, and appreciate the journey as much as the destination.
6. Have grit. Grit is a
willingness to commit to long-term goals, and to persist in the face of
difficulty. Studies show that gritty people obtain more education in their
lifetime, and earn higher college GPAs. Grit predicts which cadets will stick
out their first grueling year at West Point .
In fact, grit even predicts which round contestants will make it to at the
Scripps National Spelling Bee.
The good news is, if you aren't
particularly gritty now, there is something you can do about it. People who
lack grit more often than not believe that they just don't have the innate
abilities successful people have. If that describes your own thinking …. well,
there's no way to put this nicely: you are wrong. As I mentioned earlier,
effort, planning, persistence, and good strategies are what it really takes to
succeed. Embracing this knowledge will not only help you see yourself and your
goals more accurately, but also do wonders for your grit.
7. Build your willpower muscle. Your
self-control "muscle" is just like the other muscles in your body —
when it doesn't get much exercise, it becomes weaker over time. But when you
give it regular workouts by putting it to good use, it will grow stronger and
stronger, and better able to help you successfully reach your goals.
To build willpower, take on a challenge
that requires you to do something you'd honestly rather not do. Give up
high-fat snacks, do 100 sit-ups a day, stand up straight when you catch
yourself slouching, try to learn a new skill. When you find yourself wanting to
give in, give up, or just not bother — don't. Start with just one activity, and
make a plan for how you will deal with troubles when they occur ("If I
have a craving for a snack, I will eat one piece of fresh or three pieces of
dried fruit.") It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier,
and that's the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on more
challenges and step-up your self-control workout.
8. Don't tempt fate. No matter how
strong your willpower muscle becomes, it's important to always respect the fact
that it is limited, and if you overtax it you will temporarily run out of
steam. Don't try to take on two challenging tasks at once, if you can help it
(like quitting smoking and dieting at the same time). And don't put yourself in
harm's way — many people are overly-confident in their ability to resist
temptation, and as a result they put themselves in situations where temptations
abound. Successful people know not to make reaching a goal harder than it
already is.
9. Focus on what you will do, not what
you won't do. Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking,
or put a lid on your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits with
good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits themselves. Research on
thought suppression (e.g., "Don't think about white bears!") has
shown that trying to avoid a thought makes it even more active in your mind.
The same holds true when it comes to behavior — by trying not to engage in a
bad habit, our habits get strengthened rather than broken.
If you want to change your ways, ask
yourself, What will I do instead? For example, if you are trying to gain
control of your temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan
like "If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three deep breaths
to calm down." By using deep breathing as a replacement for giving in to
your anger, your bad habit will get worn away over time until it disappears
completely.
It is my hope that, after reading about
the nine things successful people do differently, you have gained some insight
into all the things you have been doing right all along. Even more important, I
hope are able to identify the mistakes that have derailed you, and use that
knowledge to your advantage from now on. Remember, you don't need to become a
different person to become a more successful one. It's never what you are, but
what you do.
Heidi Grant Halvorson,
Ph.D. is a motivational psychologist, and author of the new book Succeed: How
We Can Reach Our Goals (Hudson
Street
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